Unlike most spineless, indulgent grandparents, I don’t spoil the five lads on the grand branches of THIS family tree.
And now, to silence the snickers in the background, I’ll invoke the famous line from the “Wizard of Oz”: “Pay no attention to the man behind that curtain.”
I would venture to guess, needing no help from the great Oz, that even my stepdaughter, Melissa, would say her mother, my bride, Jeanne, is a far easier touch than I am. The boys find it easier to manipulate GiGi, their nickname for her, which traces back to Vincent’s flawed pronunciation of her name when he first started talking.
The lads’ visits to our house often include a trip to a hobby shop that 7-year-old Vincent has favored since I blundered by stopping there one day, thus stoking the engine of his train fantasies when he was just a squirt of 3. Also frequent destinations are Toys “R” Us, which I don’t like because I find it overwhelming and confusing, and Kmart, which I also don’t like all that much, but at least a guy can find his way around there.
However, Vincent started out amenable to my “We’re stopping just to look” proviso, although, well, I guess we have picked up a few trains, planes and automobiles at the hobby shop over the years.
It was a delight to take Vincent shopping in the good old days when he was a tad of just over 2-plus. He would ask to look at something, peruse it for awhile, then hand it to me and say, “Let’s put it back.”
I learned later that he did so because his mom had trained him inadvertently while shopping by repeating that phase when he was looking at something. The lad didn’t even know you could BUY things at stores; he just thought you were supposed to look and put them back.
Like I said, the good old days. Even now, we still often escape without buying, as long as GiGi isn’t along.
I bungled into the increasingly dangerous Kmart option a couple of months back when I suggested going there instead of Toys “R” Us, partly because it’s just a few blocks from our house, but mostly to avoid going to Toys “R” Us.
It’s been all downhill since that first trip, when 4-year-old Jack adhered to the “just-to-look” house rule. The next day, he and GiGi sneaked over by themselves, and he came back with a dinosaur (Gosh, I’m tempted to say he went over there with one dinosaur and came back with TWO, but that would be too snarky, wouldn’t it?)
These days, the “just-look” rule seems made to be broken, ESPECIALLY when GiGi’s in tow. When I pleaded to stick to our guns, and not buy any, because it was unfair to the boys who weren’t along, her solution was to buy something for everybody.
She has a dangerous mind, she does, and the boys seem to have a fair share of Jeanne’s genes.
During one stop at the hobby shop, when I told Vincent I didn’t have money to buy anything, he suggested: “Just write a check.” Another time when I told him I didn’t have money, he replied, in exasperation, “What do you DO with your money?” Of course, I replied that I buy him and his bros candy and toys. What’s he think I’m made of, money, money, money; I guess Abba is right: It’s a rich man’s world.
To be honest, I do have to admit that I’ve bought more than Jack’s share of dinosaurs, and Vincent has scored plenty of train-related stuff, but I repeat: I hold the line better at stores than GiGi does.
OK, so maybe eBay is a different matter. You see, Jack has a snow globe fetish; he even fancied that his group of three was a “collection.” Just recently, I went a little overboard buying a dozen snow globes of various sizes and designs to give Jack for Christmas, birthdays, etc., to make it a real collection. I just hope I live long enough to give them all to him.
So I guess I would have to acknowledge that eBay is too dangerous for my tempted mind. I can be as bad as GiGi sometimes.
The topic of dangerous minds always transports me back in time, to the days when I used to hum, and try to sing, Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise.” That was my favorite song, from my daughter Allison’s genre, when she was in high school. I suppose some people would consider it inappropriate, if not to dark, for me to post such a song in a column about grandkids.
After all, even back then, some people found it odd for a dad to like a song, albeit a Grammy winner, featured on the fact-based film “Dangerous Minds.” Well, now, I’m just a nostalgic sort of fella, and it reminds me of Allison’s high school days, not to mention of when I was a younger guy, one who even liked a few rap songs.
And, of course, because I’ve got dangerous minds to cope with, too.
Good luck on keeping your shopping trips thrifty ones, a.k.a.: “just to look.”
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