What’s it about full frontal nudity that fascinates men? Well, actually, it starts as boys, I guess.
And I’m not talking about full frontal nudity of the opposite sex, as you might suspect. Fer CRYIN’ out LOUD! What do you take me for? This is a GRANDFATHER column; if you’re looking for triple X, you’ll have to go elsewhere.
I’m talking about LITTLE boys. It’s only later, in DREAMS, that big boys envision scenes like the “Song of the Sirens,” from “Brother Where Art Thou.” Ooo-la-lahhhhhh!
Fortunately, the movie also provided salvation for such wayward thoughts:
Enough about salvation. Let’s get back to my conundrum about full frontal nudity. It’s more about exhibitionism, and the proclivity of youngsters to parade around in their birthday suits.
Take Jack, f’rinstance. After swimming, he’s fond of running around the house nekkid. He’s young enough, at 5, that it’s kinda cute, except for the stunt he pulled the other day.
He decided to do somersaults on the couch. And THEN, he decided to stand on his head on the couch. Not the most appealing picture, I assure you.
Little brother Luke’s something of an exhibitionist, too, as he darts through the house in his birthday suit after bathing.
Speaking of darts, that rhymes with farts and, well, this is a frisky column anyway, so I might as well share a discussion we had in the back yard today. I don’t know WHO brought up the topic, but I asked Jack and Luke if they’d ever farted under water.
“Oh, NO,” Jack said. “I wouldn’t ever do that.”
Luke, who used to pronounce the function as “shart,” smiled mischievously and said, “Well, we fart in the bathtub!”
Jack nodded in agreement, adding hastily, “But we never fart in the pool. They have people watching for that. It’s ILLEGAL to fart in a pool.”
Dunno where these lads get their sense of law, but I suppose it’s a good deterrent.
At least it’s a comfort to me that the only bubbles I’ll see in the pool are from the water filter.
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